What Have I Done?

I'm all about DIY home projects, and I've been lucky that I haven't had that many mishaps ... until now. And, oh boy, was this a costly mishap.

Last February we replaced our carpets with bamboo wood flooring. I absolutely love this floor. It is so easy to clean. I just dust mop it, and clean it with Bona Hardwood Floor Cleaner. What I have learned over the last 19 months after we had it installed is that A) my cats drool, and B) it shows. Our home has a lot of natural lighting so I notice it. It could also be because I'm totally OCD, so I'm cleaning the floors like every day. It was getting old.

My solution to this problem was to put a top coat of something on it. I really should of done a little bit more research before I did what I did. I was in Lowe's and came across Bona Hardwood Floor Polish. Yes! This is exactly what I wanted! I was looking for a polish, not a wax. I thought it was similar to a wipe on product such as Pledge that comes back off it you clean it.

I followed the instructions to a T. I did a small test area which came out perfect. I then prepped the hallway and big room, and got to work. I ended up putting two coats down over a two day period. The result ... I was devastated. I majorly effed up. Even though I cleaned the floors to remove all the cat hair, etc. there was cat hair embedded in a few spots, some areas were hazy, and in the hallway one monster cat decided to walk on it while it was wet so I had paw marks.  Lovely.

Thinking it was like a polish I tried to wipe it off. And wipe, and wipe, and scrub, and scrub, and scrub. After about 15 minutes I had about a 3x3 area done, like 9 square feet. I had 402 square feet left to go.

Top with Polish, Bottom without Polish

I showed the bottle to Chad, and handed him a knife to stab me to death. Surprisingly enough he didn't want to kill me. He felt I was doing a good enough job of beating myself up about it. That's why I love this man. Then he tells me my problem is that the bottle, although it says "Polish" is actually a urethane, also known as  a WAX! I'm really shocked he didn't want to kill me now.

I did the only thing I could do. I drowned myself in chocolate, and called a pro. Two days, three bottles of "polish" remover, and a whopping $500 later our floor is back to what it use to look like.

Lesson learned. Everyone's luck runs out eventually, and polish is not always a freaking polish. That was an expensive lesson. 

A Birthday Fit For A Douchebag

Yesterday I celebrated my 3rd Annual 29th Birthday. Although this was the first birthday I've had that didn't feel like my birthday. It could be because it was in the middle of the week, and I couldn't really celebrate Erica-Style with drinks since I am preggo, or that my dear old hubby was out of town for work. I tried to make the best of it anyway. So what does one do on their 3rd Annual 29th Birthday? I went to work, vacuumed my car, and went to dinner with one of my besties.

The day was filled with little surprises nonetheless. My Mom and Dad sent me a lovely birthday flower cake. (PS - Mom if you are reading this, never do that to a pregnant girl again. I really thought I was getting cake. I was bummed to find out I couldn't eat the cake.) 

My bestie Jessica surprised me with a bunch of birthday balloons, and a birthday banner at dinner too.

But my sister, as usual, topped the surprises with her little card and somethin' somethin' she sent me. It is a little known fact in our family that my sister Kimberly and I, lovingly, call each other douche bags. Since she is the elder of the douche bags, she is Big Douche Bag (BDB), and I am Little Douche Bag (LBD). So it is no surprise that she found a pretty douchie gift.

 
I immediately called her once I got the mail to let her know that I loved the gift, and she shall be getting the first citation because I'm not 30. I should also give one to my brother-in-law.

The surprises didn't stop after dinner. I walked out to my car, and almost had a heart attack. I thought someone hit my car. But alas, it was just some Douche who parked waaaaaaay too close to me. Granted I was over the line, but seriously dude? Then the lightbulb went off.

I decided to give him a little surprise. A douche bag citation for being a douchie parker. This may be better than the Christmas gift she sent me last year. This will be the birthday gift that keeps on giving. Thanks BDB!

I Am My Father's Child

Me: Is it Tickled Me Pink, or Pink My Tickle? It's something like that.

Chad: What?

Me: Tickled Pink? How does the saying go?

My Dad: You want a bicycle?

Me: Bicycle? What are you talking about?

Dad: Didn't you say you wanted a bicycle?

Me: TICKLED PINK! Is that right?

Chad: I don't know.

Dad: (Laughing) Bicycle. (More laughing)


This is where I get my awesome hearing skills from. I also still don't know what the correct saying is.

The Place I Call Home

While I've been planning, prepping, and purchasing stuff for Baby, my other half has been planning, prepping, and purchasing stuff for GETTING RIPPED 2012. Just kidding. Well, kind of.

Chad has been getting in shape for the Tough Mudder this December. So while I am large and in charge, also known as eight months pregnant, he will be a muscular machine running, jumping, and hopefully avoiding those electrical wires in this crazy event.

I have to say I'm really proud of him for what he has accomplished over the last few months. Chad has completed a Savage Race, and the American Mud Run. This is also in addition to his weekly workout schedules which include running, swimming, biking, and lifting weights.

With a baby on the way, all these events, and activities can be expensive but DEAL is my middle name. Okay, so it's really Lyn, but it should be. We've had a really good luck with Craigslist too. Chad found a schwanging deal on a really awesome bike, and a bike rack. We play Good Cop/ Bad Cop or what I like to call "Husband wants to buy something, but Wifey has all the money". Actually, in real life it's Wifey wants to buy everything, but Husband has all the money.

So with his bike in tow, purchased for like 80% off retail, we headed off to pick up the slightly used bike rack. I was sitting in the car waiting for Chad when all of a sudden I see this ...

Why, Hello Mister Ed.

For all our you readers who don't know, we live in Orlando. Everyone always assumes that Orlando = Disney/ Theme Parks/ Tourists. We actually don't live on that side of town. But our Central Florida area is very electric. Obviously. Hello, horsey. 

Knock, knock, mofo.

Give me a carrot!

It's no big metal chicken, but it will do. This is my town, my home, my people, and their pets. I love it here.

29 FOREVER!

 I don't know why they call it a pregnancy glow. It's more like the pimple rebellion. I have never had so much acne in my entire life. Seriously, an atomic bomb would not put a dent in what is going on on my face.

I "heard" it was suppose to clear up in my 2nd trimester. Well, 3 weeks in and no such luck. It actually got worse. Well, it decided to move, and by move, I mean it started to not become so oblivious on my face and more obvious on my neckline and behind my ears. Who gets a pimple on the back of their ear?! This girl does. It's ridiculous. I would cry but somehow I didn't get the emotional rush of hormones with this pregnancy. I've got a cold heart of stone.

So after this new phase of acne emerged I ventured out to the dermatologist. Maybe they had a spare face I could borrow until the end of this pregnancy. I struck out again! They can't prescribe me anything, and almost everything they told me to do to clear it up I was already doing.

To make matters just a wee worse, the doctor asked "How old are you?" I replied, "29 FOREVER!" Okay, so I really didn't but, I totally was thinking that as I said 30. "Oh, well, welcome to the new age bracket. We need to start using anti aging products now." We? Was there someone else hiding in the room? Who was she talking to? I'm 29 FOREVER! Apparently I will be 29 forever with wrinkles and zits though. What a bad combo. Like, really, really, really bad. Does that even happen? Knowing my luck I'll be the one documented case when I'm 40. Caption will read "She thought she would be 29 forever."

 So I bought my first anti aging product. Being not wrinkly is expensive.

Ninja or Princess

I went to the doctor yesterday for my monthly checkup. I was lucky enough that we were able to get a sneak peek of our little baby's goods. Based on my pregnancy symptoms, I was convinced I was having a boy.

Chinese Gender Predictor
The ancient Chinese gender chart predicts your baby's sex, based on your age when you got pregnant and what month it was.
Survey Says - BOY

Cravings
Traditional beliefs about pregnancy cravings are that if you crave sweets, fruits, and orange juice you are having a girl. Sour, salty or protein cravings are thought to indicate a boy.
Survey Says - GIRL

Morning Sickness
A woman who suffers severe morning sickness that lasts all day long is thought to be carrying a girl. A woman with less morning sickness or none at all may be carrying a boy.
Survey Says - BOY

Sleeping Position
If you prefer sleeping on your left side, you'll have a boy. Right side? A girl.
Survey Says - BOY

Appearance
Many people believe that a woman carrying a baby girl may have severe acne. A woman with less acne may be pregnant with a boy.
Survey Says - GIRL

Weight Gain
The belief is that, if your husband puts on weight during your pregnancy, then you will be having a girl. If he doesn't put on a pound, then you're carrying a boy.
Survey Says - BOY

Moods
Feeling extremely moody? Expect a girl.
Survey Says - BOY

Baby's Position
If a woman is carrying mainly in the front, the gender prediction is a boy. If the mom-to-be is carrying the weight all over, the baby may be a girl. 
Survey Says - BOY

Baby's Heart Rate
A baby with a heart rate higher than 140 beats per minute is presumed to be a girl. A heart rate less than 140 beats per minute is thought to indicate a boy.
Survey Says - GIRL

I was totally wrong. We aren't getting a ninja. Well, unless a hotdog grows out of that hamburger in the next few weeks. She's a GIRL!

First Tri Round Up

I've never been pregnant before so I don't have anything to compare this pregnancy to, but I think it's been super easy so far.

With most ladies, the end of the first trimester is a blessing. Mine was just another day in the books. I don't know if it was the fact that I just kept telling myself I would not be sick or barf, or that my own mother never had morning sickness with my sister or I, but it just never came.

The "food aversions" I did have were probably the mildest of any case documented. Although no foods seemed to have made me run for the porcelain God I did have find that early on most foods just didn't seem appetizing at all. For example, I love Greek yogurt but the thought of me eating it made me not hungry. Then I ate it anyway and I was all like "I love you Greek yogurt". It made no sense. Some foods did not have the same effect such as chicken, fish and meats. Specifically all fish, anything but ground beef, and chicken breast. I could still eat it but while I was chewing it I was thinking in my head, "chew, chew, chew, swallow, drink water to wash the taste out."

Just like the food aversions, my food cravings are nothing crazy, such as I must have it or I'm going to die this instant. I love food. All kinds of food. Before I was pregnant I would pretty much eat anything. Cheap, easy, elaborate, expensive, healthy, deep fried ... any kind of goodness, even if it wasn't all that good for me. All throughout my first trimester I wanted fruit and sandwiches. Peaches, plums, bananas, melon, grapes, mangoes, etc. I'm not a sandwich snob either. Chicken, turkey, chicken salad, avocado, BLT, tuna ... there is no end. Seriously, I could live off this food. So while Chad is eating his salmon and broccoli, I'm devouring my sandwich and I am as happy as a clam. Well, not a clam. Those don't seem appetizing. Happy as a peach. Mmmm. peaches.