Snort, Hock and Spit (or Shoot)

When did spitting or blowing snot rockets in public become okay? I live with someone who often has sinus infections, post nasal drip and allergies that all bring on the constant Snort, Hock and Spit syndrome. He is kind enough to do it in private for the most part and discreet when disposing of it in public.

I can't seem to go anywhere without being witness to this gross habit. Not only do I see men doing it, I see women! Oh my gawd, what is wrong with these people? To make my skin crawl a little more, I often hear people sucking it back first. Vomit, seriously that it disgusting.

Although I do have more sympathy for those who suffer from having this boogerish phlegm stuck in the back of your throat but seriously, they sell stuff to help you. It's called a Neti Pot, antihistamines, decongestants and tissue. As for those who just spit to spit ... you aren't cool and you are just dehydrating yourself.

Maybe they should have a Loogie Conference every year for these habitual offenders. They should hold it in Alabama.

Belated Father's Day

Daddy and Me

You may have thought I didn't see,
Or that I hadn't heard,
Life lessons that you taught to me,
But I got every word. Perhaps you thought I missed it all,
And that we'd grow apart,
But Dad, I picked up everything,
It's written on my heart. Without you, Dad, I wouldn't be
The woman I am today;
You built a strong foundation
No one can take away. I've grown up with your values,
And I'm very glad I did;
So here's to you, dear father,
From your forever grateful kid. -Joanna Fuchs

My Mysterious Car in Apalachicola

Are we in Sickelville? Does the Owner or Driver of this vehicle have sickel cell? Are they working for sickel cell? Are they a mobile testing vehicle for sickel cell? Did they know that sickel cell is really spelled sickLE not sickEL?

Are we in Beefy Boy Town? Does the Owner or Driver of this vehicle have a beefy boy? Is the owner or driver of the car a beefy boy? Are they working for beefy boy? Are they a mobile testing vehicle for beefy boy? Did they know that beefy boy is a tomato?

The Clampetts Came to Visit

I've never had the ability to fit two cars into our two car garage. I could blame the lack of space due to the fact that Florida garages aren't really made to fit the number of cars they say it does. Northerners have basements and we have "Florida basements" a.k.a., the garage. But the reality is that my husband is a mild pack-rat although that isn't the only reason. The man is a natural born salesman and loves making money. Our garage is usually filled with junk for garage sales. It's not always our junk though. My Dear Ol' Maw & Pa love the garage sales too and since we do them together at our home, our garage has become their quasi-storage.

Pa is a dumpster diver and a trash picker Really, I kid you not. Last time they were leaving our house, they did a u-turn at the end of the street and came back to our house to drop off a suitcase and shop vac someone had put out for trash pick up. Although quite embarrassing to admit, your trash may be our treasure.

So the Clampetts packed up the Dodge Dakota and headed to our neck of the woods.

 
Pa doesn't usually shock me with either the load or the items but this time it was a double whammy. A trundle bed, rubber maid drawers, dishes, chotchkies, and ....

The Amigo TravelMate Mobility Scooter.

I don't allow myself to participate in the selling because I would more than likely give the junk away so I usually just clean and organize the garage. But, since it was a community garage sale, I did my duty of trying to lure potential buyers to our sale. Mi Amigo and I hauled a$$ up and down street with our directional garage sale sign. I don't know if it worked but we sure had a lot of fun.

In the end we had a successful day. We sold some stuff, made some dough, and then moved whatever was left into my nice, clean, organized, could fit two cars in it now, garage.

The Last Supper

A joyous time! A well deserved vacation, cruising the Pacific on an Alaskan Cruise. It was just what we needed. So what does one do for a week on a luxurious ship with endless amounts of food, booze and entertainment? That would be to eat, drink and be merry!

To prepare my body, stomach and soul for this trip I stepped up my work out regimen two weeks before we set sail. I cycled my little legs off and worked my core in pilates. With all the stair climbing, walking, and hiking that we planned to do I was determined not to over indulge that much but, I did. I ate new and exciting things like pheasant and mussels but I stayed away from the soup with tripe. Thank gawd I asked about that one. Tripe is the stomach lining of animals. I still can't fathom that one.

"This soup is too thin and watery. What can I add to thicken it Stuart?"
Stuart holds up cow intestines, shrugs his shoulders and asks Martha, "How about this?"
"Yes, that will work!" Martha replies.

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. I digress. But not even the mention of tripe can steer me away from eating and eating we did do. Buttermilk pancakes, crazy good pizza, crusty bread, fresh fruit, hot chocolate, Caesar salads, yummy asparagus, salmon, haddock, lobster tails, filet mignon, cheesecake, banana ice cream and much more. I told myself that the amount of calories I was consuming was being offset by the amount of walking we were doing. Oh the lies I tell myself including that what I eat standing up doesn't count. It probably didn't help that my Rule of Thumb on how to not overindulge (when the sun goes down, put the fork down) was extended to past 9pm due to do the Midnight Sun. By the 6th night my pants had enough.

Quoting Weird Al, I sing:

If you see me comin' your way
Better give me plenty space
If I tell you that I'm hungry
Then won't you feed my face
Because I'm fat, I'm fat, sha mone
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know
And my shadow weighs 42 pounds
Lemme tell you once again who's fat.

Whoops. Missed a buckle, or did I?

Stop Touching Me!

Last week the Mister and I traveled across the country to Seattle for an Alaskan cruise to celebrate our one year wedding anniversary. Our trip started in Orlando with a small layover in Houston and then a Four Hour Flight (sung to the tune of Gilligan's Island) to Seattle.

We are experienced travelers. We know what to wear, bring, how to pack it, and how to stow it. Most importantly, we know proper air-traveler etiquette. For those whom are inexperienced, please take note as this will further assist you in having an enjoyable experience in your future air travels, especially if you are traveling with me.

• You cannot check your bags more than 4 hours prior to your flight so, please don't stand in line in hopes they will take your bag and then proceed to act all put out when they won't take it. That doesn't work.
• 3-1-1 Rule: 3 ounces, 1 quart size bag, 1 bag per traveler for carry on bags. No, the wine bottle is over 3.4 oz and therefore cannot be carried on.
• When your flight starts boarding, there is no need to stand and crowd near the gate when they haven't called your seat or area yet. This isn't Noah's Ark. Ya'll are getting a seat. 
• Stow small carry on items underneath your seat. 
• The overhead bins are for larger items that cannot be stowed under your seat such as suitcases, not jackets. When stowing your suitcase in the overhead bin, try to remember Ray Finkle from Ace Ventura; Laces Out! This means your wheels on your luggage are to face out. Why? It doesn't fit the other way since the bins slope inwards and secondly, your bag isn't special. Other bags need to get in there too.
• Hear that ringing? Yeah, it's your phone. If you don't, get a hearing aid.
• When getting in and out of your seat, please be aware of the seat back you're grabbing for leverage. Often times the seat likes to strike back like Star Wars when you're tray table is down. It is the weirdest thing.
• Most importantly, whether you are in your seat or in a line, please be mindful of your "personal space". This includes but is not limited to your arms, hands, legs, feet, and head. your body. Use the Chicken Dance as a guideline. If you can flap your wings and hit someone, you are too close. Adults might give you the stank eye, a vengeful sigh or children like me might tell their flight attendants that you need to Stop Touching Me!

Brussel Sprouts are Making A Come Back!

Chicken Chili

A few weeks back I made a Chicken Chili, or at least that is what I would call it for one of our Sunday-Made Weekly Dinners. As you should know, I really, really don't like grocery shopping and up until  recently, hadn't liked cooking either.

I was at the grocery store with the Hubs, plum out of ideas for dinners and without a grocery list which never makes for a good combination. Did I mention I wasn't hungry either? As I was making my way through the produce section, Chad informs me there is Chicken on sale and I suggest a chicken chili for a dinner. The last time I made it I added zucchini which he doesn't really care for and also a no-go is bell peppers, big chunks of tomatoes, corn and squash. So as we are searching for some color veggies to add I find the brussel sprouts. I never had them and he wasn't too sure about them, so in the cart they went. I also picked up leeks and cilantro. I know, really weird combo.

So this is what went into the Crock of Pots:
Chicken Breast (cut into bite sized pieces)
Brussel Sprouts
Leeks
Chick Peas
Cilantro
Salt, Pepper

Strangely enough, this turned out pretty well and as far as the brussel sprouts go, they are like mini-cabbages. Winner, winner, chicken chili dinner! I think I may have a knack at weirdo dinners.

The Big Tree

Home Sweet Home - October 2005

Our house is turning six years old this October. It doesn't feel like it has been that long but at lot has changed in this time. Just like us, our little home had a meager beginning. Basic was the name of the game. Builder carpeting, flat interior paint, and a hodge podge of furniture. We had big dreams and a small bank account. Not much has changed in that department but over the years we were able to change and upgrade our abode, a little at a time. When one project ends, another begins. It isn't hard to see how you could lose track of the time and not stop to smell the roses notice your big tree.

June 2010

Our mailbox is located down the street from our house so I normally drive down there on the way home to pick up the mail. The other week I decided to take a walk. On the way back on noticed this gargantuan of a tree.

When the heck did this happen? Have you stopped to smell your roses lately?