What Have I Done?

I'm all about DIY home projects, and I've been lucky that I haven't had that many mishaps ... until now. And, oh boy, was this a costly mishap.

Last February we replaced our carpets with bamboo wood flooring. I absolutely love this floor. It is so easy to clean. I just dust mop it, and clean it with Bona Hardwood Floor Cleaner. What I have learned over the last 19 months after we had it installed is that A) my cats drool, and B) it shows. Our home has a lot of natural lighting so I notice it. It could also be because I'm totally OCD, so I'm cleaning the floors like every day. It was getting old.

My solution to this problem was to put a top coat of something on it. I really should of done a little bit more research before I did what I did. I was in Lowe's and came across Bona Hardwood Floor Polish. Yes! This is exactly what I wanted! I was looking for a polish, not a wax. I thought it was similar to a wipe on product such as Pledge that comes back off it you clean it.

I followed the instructions to a T. I did a small test area which came out perfect. I then prepped the hallway and big room, and got to work. I ended up putting two coats down over a two day period. The result ... I was devastated. I majorly effed up. Even though I cleaned the floors to remove all the cat hair, etc. there was cat hair embedded in a few spots, some areas were hazy, and in the hallway one monster cat decided to walk on it while it was wet so I had paw marks.  Lovely.

Thinking it was like a polish I tried to wipe it off. And wipe, and wipe, and scrub, and scrub, and scrub. After about 15 minutes I had about a 3x3 area done, like 9 square feet. I had 402 square feet left to go.

Top with Polish, Bottom without Polish

I showed the bottle to Chad, and handed him a knife to stab me to death. Surprisingly enough he didn't want to kill me. He felt I was doing a good enough job of beating myself up about it. That's why I love this man. Then he tells me my problem is that the bottle, although it says "Polish" is actually a urethane, also known as  a WAX! I'm really shocked he didn't want to kill me now.

I did the only thing I could do. I drowned myself in chocolate, and called a pro. Two days, three bottles of "polish" remover, and a whopping $500 later our floor is back to what it use to look like.

Lesson learned. Everyone's luck runs out eventually, and polish is not always a freaking polish. That was an expensive lesson. 

A Birthday Fit For A Douchebag

Yesterday I celebrated my 3rd Annual 29th Birthday. Although this was the first birthday I've had that didn't feel like my birthday. It could be because it was in the middle of the week, and I couldn't really celebrate Erica-Style with drinks since I am preggo, or that my dear old hubby was out of town for work. I tried to make the best of it anyway. So what does one do on their 3rd Annual 29th Birthday? I went to work, vacuumed my car, and went to dinner with one of my besties.

The day was filled with little surprises nonetheless. My Mom and Dad sent me a lovely birthday flower cake. (PS - Mom if you are reading this, never do that to a pregnant girl again. I really thought I was getting cake. I was bummed to find out I couldn't eat the cake.) 

My bestie Jessica surprised me with a bunch of birthday balloons, and a birthday banner at dinner too.

But my sister, as usual, topped the surprises with her little card and somethin' somethin' she sent me. It is a little known fact in our family that my sister Kimberly and I, lovingly, call each other douche bags. Since she is the elder of the douche bags, she is Big Douche Bag (BDB), and I am Little Douche Bag (LBD). So it is no surprise that she found a pretty douchie gift.

 
I immediately called her once I got the mail to let her know that I loved the gift, and she shall be getting the first citation because I'm not 30. I should also give one to my brother-in-law.

The surprises didn't stop after dinner. I walked out to my car, and almost had a heart attack. I thought someone hit my car. But alas, it was just some Douche who parked waaaaaaay too close to me. Granted I was over the line, but seriously dude? Then the lightbulb went off.

I decided to give him a little surprise. A douche bag citation for being a douchie parker. This may be better than the Christmas gift she sent me last year. This will be the birthday gift that keeps on giving. Thanks BDB!

I Am My Father's Child

Me: Is it Tickled Me Pink, or Pink My Tickle? It's something like that.

Chad: What?

Me: Tickled Pink? How does the saying go?

My Dad: You want a bicycle?

Me: Bicycle? What are you talking about?

Dad: Didn't you say you wanted a bicycle?

Me: TICKLED PINK! Is that right?

Chad: I don't know.

Dad: (Laughing) Bicycle. (More laughing)


This is where I get my awesome hearing skills from. I also still don't know what the correct saying is.

The Place I Call Home

While I've been planning, prepping, and purchasing stuff for Baby, my other half has been planning, prepping, and purchasing stuff for GETTING RIPPED 2012. Just kidding. Well, kind of.

Chad has been getting in shape for the Tough Mudder this December. So while I am large and in charge, also known as eight months pregnant, he will be a muscular machine running, jumping, and hopefully avoiding those electrical wires in this crazy event.

I have to say I'm really proud of him for what he has accomplished over the last few months. Chad has completed a Savage Race, and the American Mud Run. This is also in addition to his weekly workout schedules which include running, swimming, biking, and lifting weights.

With a baby on the way, all these events, and activities can be expensive but DEAL is my middle name. Okay, so it's really Lyn, but it should be. We've had a really good luck with Craigslist too. Chad found a schwanging deal on a really awesome bike, and a bike rack. We play Good Cop/ Bad Cop or what I like to call "Husband wants to buy something, but Wifey has all the money". Actually, in real life it's Wifey wants to buy everything, but Husband has all the money.

So with his bike in tow, purchased for like 80% off retail, we headed off to pick up the slightly used bike rack. I was sitting in the car waiting for Chad when all of a sudden I see this ...

Why, Hello Mister Ed.

For all our you readers who don't know, we live in Orlando. Everyone always assumes that Orlando = Disney/ Theme Parks/ Tourists. We actually don't live on that side of town. But our Central Florida area is very electric. Obviously. Hello, horsey. 

Knock, knock, mofo.

Give me a carrot!

It's no big metal chicken, but it will do. This is my town, my home, my people, and their pets. I love it here.