Hold Please!

Actual conversation with my Husband over the phone:

Me: What's for dinner?

Him: Breakfast but I don't know how to cook the hash browns. Remember I burned the crap out of them last time and they tasted like $h1t?

Me: Like my burned hash browns were any better? I wonder if we can bake them? Go check the bag for cooking instructions.

Him: (Reads instructions. There are none for baking.)

Me: Okay, I'll call and ask my Mom. Oh, go check the clothes in the dryer and see if they are still wet.

Him: I just sat down, and I'm all comfy in this blanket.

Me: Seriously?

Him: (Makes a comfortable, I'm like a pig in a blanket sound.)

Me: Oh come on! I get lawn service so you don't have to be a slave to our lawn but I barely get any more help cleaning inside the house. Go check the laundry.

Him: Hey, I do stuff around here. I take out the trash --

Me: That takes like two seconds.

Him: Hold please! Doobie doobie do, do do do do do, doobie doobie do, do do do do do, doobie --

Me: You can't pull the Hold Please and sing the hold music. I invented that game.

Him: Oh, hi! Thanks for holding. So you on your way home?

Me: Yes, but --

Him: Okay, I will see you when you get home. And don't forget to call your Mom and ask about the hash browns.

Me: Hey wait! I wasn't done complaining!

Him: Okaybyeseeyousoonloveyoubye! Click

I can't believe he used my own tactic against me.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means To Me